Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Still here, just busy!

I didn't forget about this place, I've just been extremely busy with other writing, reading, and actually doing some librarianship! I submitted my short screenplay to two different festivals and now the wait begins. Also, I'm in the process of writing a book on real world tips for classroom management (after giving away all my great strategies from the few years I was in the classroom, I'm getting them down on paper...or eBook paper...we'll see!) and the blog post I was really excited about seems to have disappeared from my portable hard drive. I'll get finished with the re-write and post it soon.

In the meantime, go get a book and read! Or, better yet, write your own!

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Taking Huge, Scary Steps...On My Own

This post actually started out differently. I cut the first part out for another time and this is what was left:

Over the past few weeks I’ve been revisiting some of my old writing. I highly suggest anyone who creates to do this. It will open your eyes to how far you’ve come and how good you actually are at that art! I found some pretty great stuff in my writing, but it lead me to begin to question myself: I write, and write, and write, but what do I do with all that writing?

My firm belief is that, if you have a talent, and if you’re spending a good deal of your time on that talent, but you aren’t doing anything with it, you are wasting that talent. By spending all this time writing, but not actually doing anything with it, I am not only wasting my talent, I’m wasting my time. I decided last weekend that this habit of writing and doing nothing with it is going to change.

I have a hilariously funny short screenplay that I’ve decided I’m going to polish up and submit to a competition. I missed the early deadline, which means, for just $10 more, I have time to get it perfect. This is a short that almost everyone, except for one person, absolutely loved. I hope that they actually loved it because it was good and not just because they love me. The one and only person who did not like it was the one I had most desired feedback from. The feedback: “Yeah, I didn’t like it.” No explanation as to why, just that one sentence. No suggestions for improvement, no positives. Nothing else from someone I had, at one time, considered a mentor. At one time. It might just have not been the type of writing they would enjoy…not that I would know, as they didn’t say anything about it besides, “Yeah, I didn’t like it.” Yeah, not helpful…but it’s exactly the same non-feedback that I got from this person on another piece of writing I gave them. So, I finally have my mind in a good place to get beyond that dismissiveness and have decided to move forward with this screenplay. I may ask a few trusted people, whom I know will provide useful feedback (even if they absolutely HATE IT), to help me out with it before I submit, but I won’t do this without a rubric from now on!

The deadline is February 15th. I will have it ready well before then. Taking huge steps on my own. I’m nervous about it as I so rarely take chances, but…it is time. Wish me luck!

Monday, January 6, 2014

Being Unapologetically Me…

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."
            ~Marilyn Monroe

It’s the New Year and many people have made resolutions… some of which they have already broken and feel extreme guilt over! I decided, after reading this article, that my one and only resolution is to be unapologetically me. I’m not perfect, but I am the perfect me.

This topic actually makes me laugh because it reminds me of my favorite line from the movie “Bridget Jones’s Diary,” where Mark Darcy stumbles over his words as he tells Bridget that he likes her, finds her perfect, even…just as she is. That is the ultimate compliment of being unapologetically yourself… when you are loved for your imperfect perfection.

I try to be a good person. I have my goals, but they stretch beyond a year to year thing. I already eat well and am in better shape than I have been in my entire life, and will continue with that lifestyle change. There is really only one thing that completely holds me back from being myself, and, maybe it really is just part of being me- I am still in the process of practicing the art of letting go. Being unable to let go puts me in an obsessive state where I am unable to function. I have to remind myself that if I face rejection, it isn’t actually rejection of me…it is the other person rejecting an idea in their own mind. There is nothing I can do about that. Things that anger me, in the long run, have nothing to do with me at all. My mantra, “Let go,” has helped me considerably over the last few months. I have no control of others, only myself, so “Let go.” I will be the Queen of Letting Go this year. If something angers me, “Let go.” If something makes me sad or depressed, “Let go.”

The good news is, I no longer feel like I have to constantly beat myself up over things I cannot control. That “Let go” mantra really does free me up to be me. No need to pull out the “New Year, New You” resolutions that are usually too stringent to continue more than a few weeks, and, if I have to be honest, the cliché is tired and smacks of degrading language insinuating that there was something wrong with the “old you” in the first place. I have to see the perfection that is me. I have to be happy and love myself, just as I am.

Now, on to the hunt for that Mark Darcy…