Monday, September 25, 2017

Forty-Two

Last Tuesday was my birthday. 42. I’m just getting over a cold that struck me over a week ago. I’m happy that I was actually able to taste the sparkling Rosé I bought to celebrate my big day. It wasn’t the ideal way to celebrate my rotation around the sun, but it could have been worse. It seems that there are so many more horrible incidences- hurricanes, earthquakes, Trump tweets or speeches to the UN, North Korea. My little cold on my birthday is no big thing.

My little plan from my last post to uncomplicate my life ended up completely complicating my life. It seems that some people felt let down that I wouldn’t be helping them and their dreams of writing the great American novel. How I’m being selfish by not spending my time teaching them how to write better. I had to blow those people off. I choose to listen to those who called, texted and emailed their concerns for me. Their support of my decision. Their understanding that I would still be there for them, I just wasn’t taking anything new on. They understood this was not a selfish decision, but a smarter decision to help build my own craft by not adding the burden of more to my life. I am grateful for those people.

It also seems that this was just the right time to say no more. Everything that I thought would be winding down for me has ended up getting extended, or needing more attention than I had originally anticipated. That’s okay, though. I think I secretly expected that I wouldn’t be able to just move along in my little world immediately.

One great accomplishment this week has been the launch of Panther City Review 2017. There was a pretty major hiccup pointed out to me at the launch, where I couldn’t do anything about it but wait until I got home to see what went wrong, but otherwise, it went off without a hitch. Once it was all over and I got home, that major hiccup was found to not actually be my fault, but that of the printer, so while it was bad, it wasn’t because I screwed it up. And now it’s fixed! If you’d like to buy a copy of Panther City Review 2017, check out the link on the Sleeping Panther Press page right here (I even had time to put one of my own stories in it!).

Speaking of my own writing, well… Rome wasn’t built in a day and my ability to just jump into the fray and get to writing isn’t going to be immediate, either. I actually have two months of almost every weekend obligations to my business before I can really bare down and focus on what I need to do for myself. The great thing is, my mind is now open to the possibilities, which is always, always a great start.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Stepping Away

I have been trying for a while, but this weekend it really became apparent that I need to step away even more from obligations that no longer serve me. In doing this, I have decided not to continue to grow FortWorth Writer’s Boot Camp. I’ll still keep the critique groups that I already have going, as long as they are well attended. I’ll keep the coaching and tutoring clients that I currently have. Anything that anyone else is doing with the Boot Camp will continue. My involvement will slow.

Why have I decided this? Well, it’s simple: I’ve been spending so much of my brainpower trying to figure out ways to make the business work that I just didn’t take the time to think that maybe it just shouldn’t work. I started Fort Worth Writer’s Boot Camp as an income producer after I quit my previous librarian position. I wanted to have time to write and make a bit of money to pay the bills. Two months after opening shop, I accepted a position in another library where I was actually expected to be a librarian and not a professional test proctor. I have struggled to make the Boot Camp successful ever since. For me, it just isn’t working anymore. Other people have come up with great ideas of things I could do to grow the business, but really it all comes down to me spending more time working on something that I really do not have the passion for at the moment. Adding publishing to the mix has not helped with me having time to write. Instead, it has taken up my creative energy so that when I sit down to do my own writing, I can think of nothing but what needs to be done on the book I am prepping for publication at the moment.

Unfortunately, something had to give. I can no longer work at developing other writers and their talents. I need to work on my own. I also hope that, by taking this break from the Boot Camp, I will be able to legitimize my work with it. Afterall, how can I inspire others to write if I am not doing it myself?

I know that someday I’ll be able to resurrect the Boot Camp into everything it has the potential to be. The website will still be live, where I hope to blog about writing and share information about what is going on with Sleeping Panther Press. As I continue to trim back and make room for my own creativity, I encourage everyone to continue to follow their writing dreams, making them come true.