Monday, October 1, 2018

The Queen of Making Do...

Deviced Up.
There comes to a point when your brain just shuts down. You aren’t able to really function with anything other than autopilot, taking care of just the most immediate problems right before you.
I am in this mode right at this moment. I can’t do a “to do” list because I may only get to one item on that list. Too many other issues are taking over my life right now: student laptops, teacher technology issues, voter registration, conference room reservations (or lack thereof), or meetings. The day job is just wearing me out! My last entry was about the Cult of Busy. It seems as if my life read that and said, “Here, hold my beer.”
I have been so tired, I haven’t felt like exercising, writing (either creatively or in my journal), cleaning my house, or anything really productive other than making dinner, getting ready for bed, sleeping, getting up, and going into work. I’ve actually had to take a few mental health days just to relax enough to do any other work.
In saying all of this, even though I know that my life is going through one of those busy periods, it has really depressed me not to be able to do what I need to do in my personal/business life. My brain does not function well on multitasking, so the moment that I have more than three things going at once, I start to shut down. That began to happen about two weeks ago. It’s not the best feeling in the world. I begin to have thoughts of running away when that happens. The whole “anything is better than this” idea begins to float through my head. Managing a Taco Casa starts to actually sound realistic and less stressful.
Obviously, running away is not the solution. Figuring out ways to get it all done is also not the answer. What will make this better? I’m not sure at this time. Perhaps just taking a few of my personal/business duties off the table for now will work—I am the only one who will be disappointed if those don’t get done. Maybe taking a few extra mental health days will do, as well—if I don’t do it for mental health, it may actually make me sick to keep on this track.
Meanwhile, I pray that the new Chromebooks the kids will be getting soon will alleviate the issues with student laptops. That has been the biggest headache. The rest, well…I can make do on those. I just have to.

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