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I recently finished a great stalking effort of "J," who I hung out with pretty much every day from 6th to 8th grade. We were both in orchestra, then, when the cool band director was hired our 8th grade year, we switched to band. She played the trumpet, I the flute. We ditched the 8th grade dance to go with a few other friends to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show. We promised to keep track of each other when she moved to another school district. We did for a while, even attending the same church back in the day when I actually went to church. We had a falling out over a guy who was way too old for her thirteen year-old self to be hanging out with. He was nineteen and a former friend of my cousin--who told stories about this guy that would make any mama (or best friend) concerned for girls involved with him. I warned her it was a bad idea. I guess she didn’t like that. We lost track of each other.
Fast forward to the age of the Internet. She was one of the first people I tried to track down when I realized that it was actually possible to track people down. After several months, I found her, at least, I found her email address. I sent off an email. I got a response. She was married, but no kids. We chatted back and forth a few times until eventually I didn’t get a reply.
Finally, a few years ago, I found her completely by accident. I was looking up some random computer question and it landed me on her professional blog. She seems to be doing well for herself. She has divorced and remarried-- to the guy I warned her not to hang out with and mother to a few children with him. She has a personal blog. I read her personal blog. I tried friending her on Facebook once, but she never accepted it. That was probably because I warned her not to hang out with the guy she ended up eventually marrying.
I truly believe that if we were to reconnect, we would be friends again. We have so many commonalities, it almost seems impossible for us not to. I actually think sometimes, out of all the friendships that have come and gone for me, the lost of "J" was the one that I miss most dearly.